The Director Shouldve Shot YouBy ALAN DEAN FOSTER (Centipede Press; 2021)

A book about movie novelizations?  That’s a subject of somewhat limited interest, as evinced by the fact that this tome was bypassed by the big publishers and put out by the niche outfit Centipede Press.  I’m sure you already know if you’re among the audience for THE DIRECTOR SHOULD’VE SHOT YOU; as for myself, I say there’s no conceivable way this book could not be a must-read.

Alan Dean Foster is one of the top movie novelizers in the business.  He tends to specialize in science fiction novelizations (which, as we learn in these pages, happen to be the most widely read type), but has also dabbled in fantasy, western, TV series and video game tie-ins.  Here, following an introduction in which Foster provides a brief overview of growing up in California’s San Fernando Valley, attending UCLA Film School in 1970-71 and selling his first novel to Ballantine Books in 1972, he discusses the writing of each of his novelizations in some detail.

Foster’s premiere novelization was in 1974, for the Italian film LUANA.  It was a book whose contents he claims to have largely invented himself, given that the print of the film he was shown lacked subtitles.  It was followed by DARK STAR, the first of several Foster penned John Carpenter novelizations (including THE THING and STARMAN) and, he claims, one of the most difficult such books he ever wrote, due to the fact that the film is so uneventful.

From there business picked up appreciably, with Foster becoming an in-demand novelizer throughout the following decades.  His outspoken nature made him something of a controversial figure, and got him into big trouble on a couple of his assignments, ALIEN 3 and THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK, the latter of inspired an outraged call by a studio lackey after Foster dared point out the script’s flaws to the film’s star Vin Diesel.

The Director Should've  Shot You

Script shortcomings, Foster claims, were a constant irritant, given the high value he places on scientific accuracy.  He’s not shy about pointing out the flaws, scientific and otherwise, that clutter the screenplays for THE BLACK HOLE, THE LAST STARFIGHTER, ALIEN NATION and KRULL, all of which Foster did his best to make sense of in his adaptations.

Another problem was with constantly rewritten scripts, which in the case of TERMINATOR: SALVATION made for frequent editions and deletions and, eventually, a two day top-to-bottom rewrite.  There was also the “mind-boggling ignorance of Middle Eastern geography” with which Foster had to contend during the writing of TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, and the plot suggestions he made to the creators of STAR TREK (2009) that were, of course, ignored.

Yet there were also high points, such as Foster being allowed to “fix the science” in his STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS novelization, and given a half percent royalty on the sales of the STAR WARS novelization.  The fact that the novel was published under George Lucas’s byline instead of Foster’s goes puzzlingly unmentioned in these pages, although the writing of SPLINTER OF THE MIND’S EYE, which was supposed to be the inception for a low budget STAR WARS sequel, is discussed at some length.  Among other things, Foster reveals that Lucas forced him to excise the first chapter of the novel due to concerns that it would be too expensive to film.

Foster puts all this down in easygoing prose that, the frequent nerdy puns aside (an inevitability, it seems, in science fiction themed nonfiction), is quite readable.  The design and layout, as we’ve come to expect from Centipede Press, are impeccable, with crisp reproductions of book covers, letters and other goodies.  As stated above, I can’t see how this book could not be a must-read, and indeed, it is must reading, pure and simple.