In which the 54-year-old Jennifer Lopez, a.k.a. J.Lo, celebrates herself and her 2024 THIS IS ME…NOW album (a follow-up to her earlier release THIS IS ME…THEN) in a freeform musical extravaganza. This was apparently an event of such profundity a documentary about its making, THE GREATEST LOVE STORY NEVER TOLD, was put together (and is longer than the film it documents).
THIS IS ME…NOW, hailing “From the mind/soul/dream of J.Lo,” had its reported $20 million budget put up entirely by Lopez, who also convinced a number of celebrities to make cameos. That includes her famously reclusive current beau Ben Affleck, who appears despite the that he was (rightly) opposed to the project.
The story begins with a recitation of the story of Alida and Taroo, a (fake) Puerto Rican myth about star-crossed lovers who begat the hummingbird. This segues into the story of The Artist, incarnated by a heavily made-up J. Lo, who essentially plays herself: a famous actress/singer who’s been engaged six times and married four.
The Artist is initially seen laboring in a futuristic “heart factory” (so named because the place is run by a giant beating heart). She then wakes up in the office of a psychiatrist (Fat Joe) and discusses her commitment issues. She identifies the shrink as a libra, which leads to The Artist in a glass apartment building in which she argues with “Husband No. 1” (Tony Bellissimo), an argument that concludes with the building breaking apart and the line “Fuck libras!”
Cut to an interstellar heaven where several Greek gods–played by the likes of Jane Fonda (Sagittarius), Trevor Noah (Libra), Keke Palmer (Scorpio), Neil DeGrasse Tyson (Taurus) and Sofia Vergara (Cancer)–intently discuss The Artist’s relationship issues (who knew the subject was so important?). Back on Earth, meanwhile, she gets married to Husband No. 2 (Derek Hough) at a lavish wedding whose outcome is symbolized by a close-up of husband-wife wedding cake figurines being sliced apart.
An intervention is arranged at The Artist’s luxury home by her friends, and then she’s seen in a love addict’s anonymous meeting, in which she performs a supremely self-pitying tune called “Broken Like Me.” She next goes back to her “old neighborhood” in the Bronx, where she meets her childhood self (Bella Gagliano), who says “I didn’t get enough love…from you!” As if all that weren’t enough, the Artist performs an altogether asinine “Singin’ in the Rain” rendition.
In essence this film is a modern-day take on 1980s music video mini-features like PINK FLOYD: THE FINAL CUT (1983) and the Pet Shop Boys’ IT COULDN’T HAPPEN HERE (1987), although it’s actually closer to music-fueled ego trips like Anthony Newley’s CAN HEIRONYMUS MERKIN EVER FORGET MERCY HUMPPE AND FIND TRUE HAPPINESS? (1969) and Mary Tyler Moore’s MARY’S INCREDIBLE DREAM (1976). Ego was the driving force, which extends to the songs, which are all about their writer-singer. There are attempts at relatability–you can be sure that J.Lo’s signature lyric “Jenny from the block” is voiced, and a supremely cutesy cake fighting sequence occurs after the end credits—but there’s simply no getting past J.Lo’s all-consuming infatuation with J.Lo.
Director Dave Meyers, a longtime music video specialist and sometime feature film helmer (with 1999’s FOOLISH and 2007’s THE HITCHER), doesn’t exactly distinguish himself. The flashy cutting and elaborate CGI fail to impress, as the only real thematic glue is the ego of the film’s creator, which inflated though it is simply ain’t enough.
Vital Statistics
THIS IS ME…NOW
Amazon MGM Studios
Director: Dave Meyers
Producer: Nathan Scherrer
Screenplay: Jennifer Lopez, Matt Walton
Cinematography: Scott Cunningham
Editing: Adam Pertofsky
Cast: Jennifer Lopez (of course!), Fat Joe, Jane Fonda, Trevor Noah, Kim Petras, Post Malone, Keke Palmer, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lewis, Jay Shetty, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Sadhguru, Gilbert Saldivar, Tony Bellissimo, Derek Hough, Trevor Jackson, Paul Raci, Bella Gagliano, Brandon Delsid, Ashley Versher, Malcom Kelner, Alix Angelis, Daniella Larracuente, Matthew Law, Ben Affleck