A disco-fueled, dystopian-charged Christian allegory from Cannon Films? THE APPLE should be every inch the cult classic that so many midnight movie patrons have dubbed it, and would be were it not for an overabundance of Cannon bullshit.
…an overabundance of Cannon bullshit.
The Berlin-lensed THE APPLE, released in 1980, was a colossal flop whose failure reportedly made its late writer-director Menahem Golan (Cannon’s co-chairman) suicidal. It’s certainly ambitious, being one of several 1980 disco-skewering epics (such as CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC and XANADU) that were released after disco had lost its cache.
… a colossal flop whose failure reportedly made its late writer-director Menahem Golan (Cannon’s co-chairman) suicidal.
Yet it’s become a cult film, even if that cult took over two decades to materialize. Marc Heuck (a frequent contestant on Comedy Central’s late BEAT THE GEEKS program and a projectionist for LA’s Nuart and New Beverly Cinema theaters) tends to take credit for that following, but it was my friend Steven Puchalski who in SHOCK CINEMA magazine introduced me and many others to THE APPLE back in 1993.
As it happens, the film takes place one year after that date—a.k.a. the “future”—when America is under the control of Boogalow International Music—BIM—and its corrupt founder Mr. Boogalow (Vladek Sheybal). Among BIM’s dictates are compulsory 4PM fitness breaks and “BIM Mark” stickers that one gets arrested for not displaying. BIM’s singing talent is selected by the WorldVision Song Festival, an AMERICAN IDOL-esque TV program whose latest star is the naïve Bibi (the debuting Catherine Mary Stuart, of THE LAST STARFIGHTER, NIGHT OF THE COMET and WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S) and her boyfriend Alphie (George Gilmour), whose (dubbed) singing audition nets an extremely high audience score.
Just in case we don’t fully grasp the story’s Biblical significance, Alphie hallucinates an earthquake as these two are about to sign away their talent to BIM, followed by a Hell-set dance number in which Bibi is offered a giant apple by Boogalow. This freaks Alphie out and he abandons Boogalow’s domain. Bibi, however, stays, and becomes a corporate-controlled starlet. It’s up to Alphie, who’s joined a hippie commune, to save his beloved from Boogalow’s evil designs, and do so in time for the rapture, in which God, a.k.a. Mr. Topps (Joss Ackland), turns up in a floating Rolls Royce to lead his chosen flock to Heaven.
Once again, this should be the cult film of the century. It’s insanely wrongheaded, shamelessly earnest and downright nutty (who knew disco would become the literal wave of the future?). But unfortunately Golan lacked the skill, ambition and budget to do the material justice, even on a so-bad-it’s-good level.
It’s insanely wrongheaded, shamelessly earnest and downright nutty (who knew disco would become the literal wave of the future?).
As with many a musical, THE APPLE errs in having been structured around the music numbers, with the dramatic content serving as, essentially, filler. This approach might have worked fine if the songs had any worth (the only memorable tune is the ELO-esque “Speed,” which Catherine Mary Stuart lip-synchs at the film’s hallway point) and the filmmaking wasn’t so lackluster, with the standard Cannon corner-cutting all-too-evident throughout.
THE APPLE, furthermore, was ill-served by the DVD (by MGM) and Blu-ray (by Kino Lorber) process (with its most desirable home video format, the Paragon Video VHS release, being all-but impossible to find nowadays), as the digitization calls attention to the cheapness of the visuals and the sparseness of the characterizations. Catherine Mary Stewart is quite lovely in the lead role, but her character is such a cypher it’s impossible to ever become too involved in her plight (all we really learn about her is that she’s a good singer).
…its most desirable home video format, the Paragon Video VHS release, being all-but impossible to find nowadays…
Golan was, contrary to his reputation, a skilled craftsman, and corralled some talented actors, including Stewart, Miriam Margolyes and Joss Ackland (who has admitted to appearing in some “awful films,” of which THE APPLE is at the head of the list). Unfortunately Golan never spent more time on his self-directed films than was absolutely necessary, and in this case that’s a particular annoyance, as a bit more attention would have made all the difference.
Vital Statistics
THE APPLE
The Cannon Group
Director/Screenwriter: Menahem Golam
Producer: Yoram Globus
Cinematography: David Gurkinkle
Editing: Alan Jankubowicz
Cast: Catherine Mary Stuart, Allan Love, Grace Kennedy, George Gilmour, Joss Ackland, Vladek Sheybal, Ray Shell, Miriam Margolyes, Derek Deadman, Michael Logan, George S. Clinton, Francesca Poston, Leslie Meadows, Gunter Notthoff, Clem Davies, Coby Recht, Iris Recht, Finola Hughes