I’ll confess I was hoping this four decades old bummer, pitched as “THE LITTLE RASCALS of the future,” would improve with age. No such luck, as SOLARBABIES is every bit as dumb now as it seemed in 1986, and back then it seemed very, very dumb.
Co-scripted by veteran screenwriter Walon Green (of THE WILD BUNCH and SORCERER), SOLARBABIES was a production of Brooksfilms, whose chairman Mel Brooks invested a reported $9 million of his own money. The filming, which took place largely in Spain, was marred by bad weather, a director replacement (from the inexperienced Douglas Anthony Metrov, the film’s co-writer, to frequent Brooks collaborator Alan Johnson) and a garrulous cast that apparently didn’t see the film’s potential.
The setting is a post-apocalyptic America devastated by “Eco-wars.” The fascistic Protectorate controls water distribution and runs orphanage 43, an establishment overseen by a kind-hearted warden (Charles Durning) and managed by the much sterner Grock (Richard Jordan), who heads the “E-Police.” Grock also supports the Scorpions, an amoral rollerblading crew who oppose the more virtuous Solarbabies, consisting of Jason (Jason Patric), Metron (James Le Gros), Rabbitt (Claude Brooks) and Terra (Jamie Gerz).
According to the opening narration, legend has it that an extraterrestrial something called Bodhi “has come to Earth to free the waters once again. Is this legend true? Who knows?” Evidently it is true, because Bodhi, which takes the form of a glowing sphere, is found by the hearing-impaired, Solarbaby-adjacent Daniel (Lukas Haas) in a cave beneath the orphanage. Bodhi demonstrates its powers by restoring Daniel’s hearing and making it rain inside the cave.
The opportunistic orphan Darstar (Arien Pasdar) steals Bodhi and takes off into the desert. Daniel, who’s established a telepathic link with Bodhi, follows, and the Solarbabies, rollerblades at the ready, take off after him. Their odyssey brings them to the paradisal ice-fueled realm of the eco-warriors, whose ranks include Tarra’s dad. But Bodhi has been snatched by the E-police, and is being subjected to all manner of torment in the Protectorate compound. The Solarbabies elect to break into the compound and rescue Bodhi, and (SPOILER ALERT!) they succeed.
This film could conceivably have worked were it not for an overabundance of 1980s bullcrap. A great deal of talent was involved, with visual effects supervisor Richard Edlund (STAR WARS), cinematographer Peter MacDonald (HAMBURGER HILL) and composer Maurice Jarre (LAWRENCE OF ARABIA) joining Mel Brooks and Walon Green. All clearly expended a fair amount of effort, but couldn’t overcome the heavy eye-liner, poofy hair and well-muscled torsos sported by the supposedly starved and dehydrated protagonists, nor the vastly overlit visuals (who knew a postapocalyptic landscape would be so bright indoors and out?) that were endemic to Hollywood in 1986, nor the depiction of Bodhi, which takes the form of a visually unappealing orb that won’t ever be confused with E.T.
Vital Statistics
SOLARBABIES
Metro Goldwyn Meyer/Brooksfilms
Director: Alan Johnson
Producer: Irene Walzer, Jack Frost Sanders
Screenplay: Walon Green, Douglas Anthony Metrov
Cinematography: Peter MacDonald
Editing: Conrad Buff
Cast: Richard Jordan, Jami Gerz, Jason Patric, Lukas Haas, James Le Gros, Claude Brooks, Peter DeLuise, Pete Kowanko, Adrian Pasdar, Sarah Douglas, Charles Durning