As we all know, 1982 was a banner year for science fiction cinema, with E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL, BLADE RUNNER, THE ROAD WARRIOR, THE THING and STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN all making their debuts. Also hailing from that year was MYSTERIOUS PLANET, a no-budget space opera that transposed Jules Verne’s MYSTERIOUS ISLAND to an outer space setting, albeit (as the opening credits state) “Very Freely.”
The director was the debuting Brett Piper, who claimed in a 2011 interview that “As a movie MYSTERIOUS PLANET sucks.” That’s an ironic stance given that MYSTERIOUS PLANET, which wasn’t Piper’s cheapest movie (that honor goes to 2009’s MUCKMAN), served as a prelude to none-too-auspicious films like A NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL (1990) and REDENECK MUTANTS (2023).
MYSTERIOUS PLANET begins with an outer space dogfight involving a large spaceship and several invading fighters. Amid all the mayhem a handful of the ship’s crew members, including several cosmonauts and an alien being (i.e. a tall guy wearing a goofy-looking monster mask), pack themselves into an escape pod and blast off. They land on the beach of a planet that appears to be uninhabited but for a number of stop-motion monsters. After fighting off a two headed turtle critter the humans make their way into the wilderness and somehow end up in snowy mountains where they’re attacked by a pterodactyl-like beastie.
Eventually a scantily clad young woman is discovered, bearing healing powers and the ability to mind-meld with the protagonists. Also uncovered is a buried spaceship in which an all-powerful extraterrestrial being pontificates, predicting that asteroids will soon destroy the mysterious planet. Asteroids do indeed turn up, forcing the humans to vacate. The end.
About this film Mr. Piper’s retrospective opinion was correct: it does indeed suck. MYSTERIOUS PLANET is, however, about on par quality-wise with “classics” of budget-lite sci fi-horror like EQUINOX (1970), THE DEAD NEXT DOOR (1989) and DARKNESS (1993), films distinguished by practical special effects and retro charm.
FANTASTIC PLANET’s major selling points—its special effects—are, to say the least, primitive. Included are a spaceship hovering motionless in midair with sound effects denoting “movement,” puppet critters in close-up that are clumsily integrated (LAND OF THE LOST-like) with stop motion wide shots of same, some of the most obvious and unconvincing matte shots in film history and stop motion critters with which the flesh and blood actors interact, but never in the same shot. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Piper was making a camp-fest with intentionally cheesy effects.
More crudeness comes from the low rent sound mixing, which renders the dialogue garbled and often hard to make out, compounded by beeping and echoing aural effects. Equally annoying is the handheld camerawork, which never seems to be in the right place to properly capture the action, and it’s best not to go into the “acting” in any detail.
Yet the mind-meld sequence, denoted by an 8mm montage, is inspired, and the appearance of the extraterrestrial planetary rulers a true nightmare-inducer, so the film isn’t a complete waste of time. If nothing else, MYSTERIOUS PLANET is valuable as a warning to aspiring filmmakers that youthful enthusiasm can only take one so far, especially in the absence of filmmaking know-how, skilled collaborators (according to Piper the on-set crew consisted of “just me”), a viable script and (yes) a workable budget.
Vital Statistics
MYSTERIOUS PLANET
Director/Producer/Screenplay: Brett Piper
(“Very Freely Based on” a novel by Jules Verne)
Cinematography: Nicholas Hackaby
Editing: Morgan Trell
Cast: Paula Taupier, Boydd Piper, Michael Quigley, Bruce Nadeau, George Seavey, Marilyn Mullen, Scott Nadeau, Melody Claudstein, Karen Reardon, Bernard Nero, Cynthia Vacca