It takes some doing to make a film that ranks with bad Christmas movie classics like SANTA CLAUS (1959) and SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972), but this 2014 evangelical production handily accomplishes that feat. It’s an extended polemic about the joys of Christmas by one Kirk Cameron, who executive produced the film and portrays himself as an all-knowing sage.
Kirk Cameron has had a career arc that, depending on one’s point of view, can be viewed as either tragic or entirely deserved. He made his name as a teen heartthrob in the popular sitcom GROWING PAINS during the years 1985-92, and parlayed that fame into high profile movie roles in LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON (1987) and LISTEN TO ME (1989). He could conceivably have continued that streak and become a mainstream movie star alongside fellow eighties sitcom alumna Michael J. Fox (a connection made concrete by the fact that Cameron provided narration for the 1990 SECRETS OF THE BACK TO THE FUTURE TRILOGY video), but Cameron’s career took an odd turn.
On the set of GROWING PAINS Cameron was rumored to sequester himself in his trailer singing Bible songs, and over the years that evangelical bent only grew more pronounced. Eventually he turned his back on the mainstream entirely, devoting himself fully to evangelical media. He even scored a couple of hits in that arena with his starring roles in LEFT BEHIND: THE MOVIE (2000) and FIREPROOF (2008). KIRK CAMERON’S SAVING CHRISTMAS was not a hit, although it has established a firm place in the hearts of crap movie lovers everywhere (on one list it was voted the worst Christmas movie of all time).
On one list, it was voted the worst Christmas movie of all time.
The film opens with an impassioned four minute monologue by Kirk C., seated in a cozy interior setting that includes a fireplace and a Christmas tree. In highly emotive tones punctuated with exaggerated hand gestures, he waxes enthusiastic about all things Yuletide-related, but concludes with a caveat about people who aren’t as enthused by the season as he. You might think that, given this film’s title and right-of-center political leanings (“saving Christmas” being a popular conservative crusade), you can guess where it’s going message-wise. You’d be wrong.
The remainder of the film consists of Kirk playing himself on Christmas Eve at the home of his sister Bridgette (played by Kirk’s actual sibling, appearing alongside several members of their extended family). All is well but for her grumpy hubbie Christian (the film’s co-writer and director Darren Doane, whose family members likewise pack the film), who sequesters himself in his car. Kirk goes out to chat with Christian, who laments that the Christmas season has strayed too far from its Biblical roots, pointing out (correctly) that Christmas trees and Santa Claus don’t appear anywhere in the Bible, and that Jesus Christ wasn’t actually born in December.
Cameron was rumored to sequester himself in his trailer singing Bible songs, and over the years that evangelical bent only grew more pronounced.
Biblical scholar Kirk replies with an extended history lesson illustrated by tacky dramatizations that attempt, unconvincingly, to tie modern-day Christmas rituals in with the Bible. Christmas trees, Kirk claims, emerge from the Garden of Eden(?), and he says of the crucifixion that “Jesus was God’s blessed fruit hung on his blessed tree.” Santa, for his part, was apparently inspired by the third century Christian bishop St. Nicholas, who dedicated his life to serving God and helping the needy (things not generally attributed to Santa Claus).
Christmas trees, Kirk claims, emerge from the Garden of Eden(?), and he says of the crucifixion that “Jesus was God’s blessed fruit hung on his blessed tree.”
The awed Christian, concluding that his views are all wrong, runs back into his house while Kirk, silhouetted in the front doorway with a halo-like glow around his head, smiles approvingly. In voice-overs Kirk continues his spiel, comparing the presents under the Christmas tree to the skyline of a “heavenly city whose builder and architect is God” and dismissing concerns about the Holiday Season’s crass materialism (“this is a celebration of the eternal God taking on a material body, so it’s right that our holiday is marked with material things”), over-indulgence (“we can eat until we split at the seams…and we would not have even scratched the surface of this glorious day”) and rampant selfishness (“this is our story, our city, our tree, our lights, our presents, our songs…”).
…“this is a celebration of the eternal God taking on a material body, so it’s right that our holiday is marked with material things”…
The film concludes with Kirk, Christian and their respective family members dancing to a hip-hop rendition of “Gloria,” one of many examples of director Darren Doane’s attempts at rendering this material “hip.” Given that much of Doane’s previous (and current) directorial experience was on music videos for decidedly un-Christian bands like Blink 182 and Pennywise (whose notorious PENNYWISE HOME MOVIES promo doc was helmed by Doane), he would seem an odd choice as helmer of a movie whose orientation is summed up by the name of the character he plays. That probably explains why the end result is never very funny, engaging, convincing or even coherent, taking “bad” to an entirely new level.
Vital Statistics
KIRK CAMERON’S SAVING CHRISTMAS
Liberty University
Director: Darren Doane
Producers: Ralphi Henley, David Shannon, Darren Doane, Ankara Rosser
Screenplay: Darren Doane, Cheston Hervey
Cinematography: Andy Patch
Editing: Postmill Factory
Cast: Kirk Cameron, Bridgette Ridenour, Ben Kientz, David Shannon, Ralph Henley, Cameron Ridenour, Everett Ridenour, Resse Ridenour, Sharron Shannon, Clarrisa Shannon, David Shannon, Lydia Shannon, Andrew Shannon, Jacob Wilson, Jaidyn Wilson, Jersi Wilson, Anna Ybarra, Jesse Brandt, Isabella Cameron, Ahna Cameron, Olivia Cameron, James Cameron, Kaylee Cornwall, Joseph Cornwall, Natalie Doane, Alexandra Soren Doane, Emmerson Soren Doane, Zoe Trinity Doane, Knox Asher Michael Doane, Darren Doane