Supposedly “the most insane 83 minutes ever put to film,” a $5,000 cinemutation that’s so amazingly grungy and crude it probably shouldn’t even be called a movie. That doesn’t change the fact that JERKBEAST is funny, surreal and even intelligent, ranking with trash-fests like THE BRIDE OF FRANK and BLACK DEVIL DOLL as a product that attains the rank of outsider art largely in spite of itself.
Lensed on location in Seattle in 2002-03 by Brady Hall and Calvin Reeder, JERKBEAST had its genesis in a two season public access show in which, according to Hall, “People would call up and swear at us and we’d swear back at ‘em.” The film was reportedly “rejected from every film festival it was submitted to,” with its US distribution accomplished by a Film Threat DVD, and its UK release via a two disc set that marked the first and only DVD put out by the late Videosyncratic video store.
Narrated by a British accented women repeatedly stabbing herself in the belly, the film tells the story of Jerkbeast. He’s a mutant (Hall) wearing a massive paper Mache mask and a body with a single working hand (because Hall’s other hand was being used to work the mask), a costume that looks like it was designed by an eight year old—meaning it fits in perfectly with the movie overall. Jerkbeast, who all the other characters treat in a nonchalant manner, is perpetually pissed off, and has a creative insult for every occasion (apparently no insult is used more than once).
After massacring some untalented garage rockers, Jerkbeast forms a punk band with Benny (Reeder), who all the characters treat as if he’s physically deformed even though he clearly isn’t. Also along for the ride is Marty (the film’s producer Brian Wendorf), who likes to smash live rabbits with a sledgehammer, and Preston (Nathan Conrad), a barely-functioning moron. The band goes through many names (including Blood Butt, Anus Pussy and Steaming Wolf Penis) and plays songs with lyrics like “Looks like chocolate, tastes like shit, you’re never gonna know until you bite into it!”
The misadventures begin with Preston adopting a young boy and leaving the band. The boy, however, is promptly kidnapped by Czech gangsters; they cut off pieces of the kid’s body and mail them to Preston, who by that point has long since lost interest. He eventually rejoins his bandmates, but not until after they’ve fallen under the tutelage of Douche Lewis (Mike Brawlie), a sleazy manager who sends them on a disastrous cross country tour.
Benny falls in love with a young woman named Mary (“Just like that Bible chick!”) and insists on bringing her on tour with the band. She has prescription pills that keep her from dying, but those anti-death meds promptly fall out of her pocket and she expires. Benny, however, refuses to part with her, and attempts to have her corpse play keyboard during a concert.
The band finds a new manager in the form of a rap impresario, who among other sins changes the title of their signature tune to “Looks like chocolate, tastes like love.” Eventually the group breaks up, and those members who aren’t called Jerkbeast form a boy band. Jerkbeast, for his part, gets pissed.
Yes, this is all plenty trashy. It’s also funny and compelling for viewers willing to suspend traditional critical judgement—a necessity, as the cheapness of the scenery and clumsiness of the filmmaking aren’t ruses (“You might notice a weird light at the side of the screen,” one of the filmmakers notes on the DVD audio commentary, and before dropping the subject points out that “we noticed it too”).
Yet JERKBEAST offers a more truthful and corrosive portrayal of the punk music scene, with its blithely confrontational aesthetic (a radio program heard on the soundtrack greets its listeners with the refrain “Guess what? You’re stupid!”), than most documentaries on the subject—meaning I’d recommend viewing JERKBEAST in place of THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION. It’s certainly funnier.
Vital Statistics
JERKBEAST
Film Threat/Videosyncratic
Directors/Screenplay/Editing: Brady Hall, Calvin Reeder
Producer: Brian Wendorf
Cast: Bracy Hell, Calvin Reeder, Brian Wendorf, Nathan Conrad, Mike Brawley, Nicholas Brawley, Veronica Thompson, Jeff Russell, Debbie Craig, Monzell Lewis, Hilary Anderson, Warren Etheridge, Bernadette Cuvalo, Forest Fousel, Elizabeth Ammann, Steve Migliore, Jade Leal, Jereme Lane