It’s unrealistic, and probably unfair, to expect great filmmaking from a Charles Band movie, which is what this 1997 cheapie is. I think we’re justified, though, in desiring a bit more from HIDEOUS!, given its irresistibly demented premise and the fact that Band is fully capable of delivering quality cinema (as proven by TRANCERS), than the derivative quasi-comedy we’re given.
As with Band’s other nineties-era releases, HIDEOUS! was a straight-to-video product, put out by Full Moon Entertainment. It contains Band’s favorite subject: miniature monsters, variations on which turned up in the Band productions DOLLS (1986), DOLLMAN (1991), SHRUNKEN HEADS (1994), BLOOD DOLLS (1999) and the seemingly never-ending PUPPET MASTER series (1991-infinity).
The setting of HIDEOUS! is Poney Valley, home to a massive sewage plant. There a sewage worker plucks human mutations from the muck and they, preserved in formaldehyde, are sold to Lazar (Mel Johnson Jr.), a dedicated collector of human oddities. The evil Dr. Emilio Lorca (Michael Citriniti) is a rival collector (“I am a gourmet of the unusual, you sir are nothing but a gourmand”) and all-around asshole. With help from his pretty blonde assistant Elvina (Rhonda Griffin), who initially appears topless and wearing a gorilla mask, Lorca waylays Lazar on a snowy road and steals his newest specimen. Lazar, together with a detective (Jerry O’Donnell), confronts Lorca in his home, a castle where his miniature mutant specimens (“my babies!”) are stored—and the film essentially turns into an uninspired rehash of Band’s 1984 production
GHOULIES as the newest specimen comes to life and resurrects its fellows.
By 1997 Full Moon had developed a formula of sorts that mixed eight-year-old level comedy with moments of R-rated outrageousness involving, more often than not, women’s breasts. See CASTLE FREAK, whose most notorious moment wasn’t dissimilar to this film’s, in which one of the critters, a tiny mutant with a fish mouth, climbs into bed with Elvina and suckles her (or, rather, a body double).
The overtly campy, self-aware tone undercuts the weirdness, and the perfunctory score, by Band’s father Richard (who like his son is capable of far better), further lessens the proceedings. Even the mutant make-up, courtesy of Mark Rappaport Creature FX (best known for ARMY OF DARKNESS and I AM LEGEND), is uninspiring, recalling the title characters of THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE (1987) more than anything else.
Perhaps the best way to view this film is via the version contained in the Sci Fi Channel series FULL MOON FRIGHT NIGHT, hosted by William Shatner. Following Elvira’s lead, Shatner periodically stops the film to make bad puns (to a man’s head in a jar: “What are you, some kind of head case?”) and perform reenactments that heighten the camp factor considerably (as if the film wasn’t campy enough to begin with!). Shatner is more engaging, in any event, than anything else contained in HIDEOUS!
Vital Statistics
HIDEOUS!
Full Moon Pictures
Director/Producer: Charles Band
Screenplay: Benjamin Carr
Cinematography: Vlad Paunescu
Editing: Steve Nielson, Barry Taylor
Cast: Michael Citriniti, Rhonda Griffin, Mel Johnson Jr., Jacqueline Lovell, Tracie May, Jerry O’Donnell, Andrew Johnston, Mircea Constantinescu, Alexandru Agarici