There simply aren’t enough bad things to say about this holiday atrocity from 1965, whose overall effect is summed up by this quote from an anonymous YouTuber: “If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to eat a mushroom, lick a frog or eat peyote, watch this movie, and I think (it would resemble) the hallucinogenic nightmares you would experience if you did all three simultaneously!”
No credits are extant at the beginning or end of this film outside that of its presenter: “Giant Balloon Parades, Inc.” It was the founder of that outfit, Joseph M. Sonneborn Jr., who reportedly directed FUN IN BALLOONLAND. Filming took place at an annual Christmas parade in Davenport, Iowa, where the film had its one and only theatrical unspooling. It was later released on DVR by Something Weird Video (hence the “SVW” logo that’s been burned into the bottom right of the screen).
Commencing with a saccharine yet quite creepy Southern-fried theme song by Frank E. Connor (sample lyric: “Marryin’ turkey is sighin’, old Mr. Walrus is cryin’”), we look in on a young boy being read a fairy tale by his mother. Both fall asleep and the boy comes to in Balloon Land, marked by giant balloon creatures (which speak in poorly recorded voice over dialogue) and outrageously unreal painted backdrops.
The boy begins his odyssey by chatting with a giant balloon prince looking for his long-lost mate. After some girls turn up to do a bad ballet dance, and a transition is accomplished via rippling water effects, the boy explores an alleged “underwater kingdom,” as denoted by a couple women in tacky mermaid outfits lounging on a giant balloon octopus amid bubbling sound effects. Next the kid joins an indifferently choreographed dance-a-thon to “Old MacDonald had a Farm” inside what’s supposed to be a barn.
The above takes up about twenty minutes. None of them make a lick of sense, but coherency wasn’t a concern; as is stated out loud at one point, the whole thing is a dream, and dreams aren’t supposed to be understandable.
The boy next finds himself outdoors watching the parade. At this point the film turns into a documentary, or perhaps just an excuse for the filmmakers to pad much of the remaining thirty minutes with footage of marching bands and giant balloon floats. The latter are accompanied by a woman’s voice providing descriptions of the sights on display, which include balloons made to look like Scrooge, King Arthur and Sir Lancelot, multi-colored elephants and a bus. It’s topped off with a curtain call in which the narrator re-introduces the many critters seen in the film–“Hello fat hippo!”–and implores us to “Come on, clap along with me! You’re not tired yet!” I beg to differ.
Beyond that there’s not much worth saying about the film, which is inept and amateurish in every conceivable aspect. It’s lensed entirely in wide shots, with the uncredited young boy lead bellowing nearly all his dialogue and looking mighty bored throughout. I don’t blame him; the film only lasts 53 minutes, but feels several times as long, meaning the title (its first word in particular) is a definite case of false advertising.
Vital Statistics
FUN IN BALLOONLAND
Giant Balloon Parades, Inc.
Director: Joseph M. Sonneborn Jr.
Producer: Joseph M. Sonneborn Jr.