The very definition of a curio: a 1977 quasi-documentary by the late schlockmeister Ted V. Mikels (1929-2016) about a notorious real-life polygamist. Mikels was of course a polygamist himself, having seven wives (because, as he informed interviewer Boyd Rice, “I was told there are seven females on Earth for every male, and I want my seven!”), which explains why ALEX JOSEPH AND HIS WIVES has a heartfelt aura missing from more typical Mikels products like THE CORPSE GRINDERS (1971) and BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE-DEVILS (1973). Mikels himself has dubbed this film “a nicely done, very warm story of a family—a big family.” It is, in short, the world’s first, and perhaps only, unabashedly pro-polygamy movie.
The opening scenes are headlined by Laura Grady (Undein Hampton), a reporter for WOMEN’S WORLD magazine. She travels to a secluded Utah community to investigate Alex Joseph (playing himself), a cowboy with twelve wives (all of whom play themselves) and, surprisingly, only three children.
Alex J. owns a café in which several of his brides are employed as waitresses. There Laura discovers that Alex has amassed a great deal of local fame, and not a little notoriety. He apparently keeps an arsenal of firearms and explosives, which alerts government agents who turn up to arrest Alex; he winds up bailed out by one of his wives, who happens to be an attorney.
Upon meeting the subject of her article Grady is initially quite hostile, reacting poorly to Alex Joseph-isms like “I’m gonna do what I please, you’re gonna write what you please.” But after she questions his wives (one of whom justifies her status with the claim “You can’t share something you don’t own, and believe me, nobody owns Alex”), and gets saved from the lecherous attentions of a male chauvinist by Alex, Grady comes to question her views. Her change of heart is completed when she attends the apparently “beautiful” wedding of Alex and his latest spouse.
A textual epilogue provides further info about Alex Joseph’s marriages, revealing that he had sixteen wives altogether, and that, as of 1976, he was separated and/or divorced from most of them. We’re also informed that in late 1975 he was “forcibly removed from public lands” by Federal Marshalls, and is “presently pursuing a Hollywood movie career” (which, needless to say, never came to pass).
A “family drama” this may be, but Mikels can’t resist including some gratuitous brutality, set to hackneyed country music that gives the proceedings a SMOKEY AND BANDIT feel. Furthermore, Mikels makes sure to air his conservative leanings in a lengthy anti-government lecture delivered by Joseph, followed by a song called “Thanks America” (credited to Danny Scholl and Bobby Worth) played over a montage of American flags and pretty scenery.
Mikels’ schlockmeister bonafides are on full display in lengthy scenes of people walking, getting in and out of cars, staring at themselves in mirrors, etc. Such inertness is common to Mikels films, explained by the absurdly low budgets and inexperienced crewmembers he tended to utilize. Nonprofessional actors were another Mikels mainstay, and they stink up this film a great deal.
Alex Joseph himself delivers an extremely stiff, nuance-free performance. He’s supposed to be wise and pure-hearted, but his self-righteous air is off-putting. Nor are his impassioned arguments in support of polygamy very rousing; he never goes into the rules governing polygamous marriages, which are far more byzantine than those of traditional matrimony. Mikels’ own comments on the subject, voiced in numerous interviews, are more illuminating than anything in this provocative but fatally lethargic and unfocused film.
Vital Statistics
ALEX JOSEPH AND HIS WIVES
American Republic Pictures
Director/Producer/Editor: Ted V. Mikels
Screenplay: William Thrush, Alex Joseph, Ted V. Mikels
Cinematography: Nickolas von Sternberg
Cast: Alex Joseph, Dale Joseph, Margaret Joseph, Leslie Joseph, Lorraine Joseph, Carmen Joseph, Joanie Joseph, Pamela Joseph, Judy Joseph, Paulette Joseph, Melinda Joseph, Kitty Joseph, Carla Joseph, “Pius Whirlwind Soldier,” Nora Grady, Noble “Kid” Chissell, Tommy Simmons, Beau Billingslea, Stuart Lanscaster, Patrick Wright, George Costello, Steve Blackmore, Billy White Bird