By ROBERT F. JONES (Avon; 1977/78)

Impossible to adequately categorize, this “African Idyll” tells the story of a hunt for a buffalo with a priceless diamond stuck to its head.  Reading like some unholy collaboration between Jack London and Gabriel Garcia Marquez, THE DIAMOND BOGO is in my view the most interesting of Robert F. Jones’ early novels. It followed the phantasmagoric BLOOD SPORT (1974), which fell somewhere between H. Rider Haggard and Kurt Vonnegut.  Unfortunately Jones’ later novels—including SLADE’S GLACIER, BLOOD TIDE and DEADWOOD, well written but pretty straightforward adventure stories all—lack the surreal edge of these early books.

… the most interesting of Robert F. Jones’ early novels.

In THE DIAMOND BOGO, Winjah, the last of the Great White Hunters, organizes a safari into the nether regions of Africa in search of the fabled Diamond Bogo.  Legend has it that years earlier a dying man in possession of a valuable diamond caught hold of a gigantic water buffalo, and with the last of his strength krazy glued the jewel onto the animal’s forehead.  Accompanying Winjah on this expedition are the thrill-seeking journalist Bucky Blackrod, a Montana millionaire named Donn and his bored wife Dawn.  Also along for the ride is a Guinea Worm that lives in Bucky’s legs and is his cherished companion.

A senior writer for Sports Illustrated when he penned this book, Jones clearly knows his outdoor sportsmanship. In his world manly strength and machismo are attributes prized above all others, although this view, like so much else about this novel, is presented in a mostly satirical vein.

…manly strength and machismo are attributes prized above all others…

To continue: the safari is uneventful until it reaches the land of the Tok, a race of mutant cannibals with giant craniums and perpetual erections.  Bucky and Dawn are kidnapped by the Tok and taken to their lair upon a plateau, where they live in Tudor-style houses with diamond encrusted windows.  These super-intelligent weirdoes want to spawn a new race, and turn Bucky and Dawn into sex slaves.

This situation could have easily grown fanciful or even cutesy, but Jones retains the story’s hard edge.  It transpires that four Dallas Cowboys are also on the trial of the Diamond Bogo, and their arrival on the scene sets the stage for a struggle that only a few will survive.

This situation could have easily grown fanciful or even cutesy, but Jones retains the story’s hard edge. 

The novel adeptly mixes outrageousness and old-fashioned adventure.  The writing is appropriately hard-boiled, resisting the temptation toward flowery poeticism (a style all too common in slip-streamy work such as this), with sentences that tend to be short, at times almost Hemingway-esque, and to the point.  And yes, this frankness extends to the graphic descriptions of sex, violence and cannibalism.

Jones is also a master of surrealism.  Like all the great fantasists, he integrates weirdness so smoothly into his narrative that it’s often impossible to discern precisely where “reality” leaves off.  It’s just too bad he no longer practices this type of writing.