Ranking the Rankings 2: Horror Film

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What follows is the second of my Ranking the Rankings pieces. The first explored horror fiction listings, while this one focuses on horror film. Compiling it was, frankly, a bitch, and far more difficult overall than the earlier ranking. The problem was simply the sheer volume of horror movie listings, of which it seems just about everyone (including me) has made up at least one.

My preferred rankings are those that contain interesting and eclectic selections that don’t recur on other such lists. THE EXORCIST, DAWN OF THE DEAD, THE EVIL DEAD and SILENCE OF THE LAMBS are all terrific films, but there exist many, many more examples of first-rate horror cinema that don’t show up on too many lists.

As in the earlier Ranking the Rankings piece, I’ve culled ten lists from various books and magazines (and transcribed the actual listings where appropriate), ranked from best to least-best, starting with:

The Scariest Films Ever Made, by Stephen King

  1. DANSE MACABRE; 1981
  2. WAIT UNTIL DARK
  3. HALLOWEEN
  4. PSYCHO
  5. COMA
  6. LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR
  7. ALIEN
  8. THE HAUNTING
  9. MIDNIGHT EXPRESS
  10. THE BAD SEED
  11. NIGHT OF THE HUNTER
  12. NIGHT WATCH
  13. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
  14. THE BIRDS
  15. DEMENTIA-13
  16. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?
  17. I BURY THE LIVING
  18. MACABRE
  19. X–THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES
  20. THE OMEN
  21. DELIVERANCE

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that this Stephen King penned list, included in his nonfiction tome DANSE MACABRE, made my number one spot. King’s survey of the 100 best horror books, after all, was the #1 pick in my previous Ranking the Rankings, and proved the man really knows his horror media–something this horror movie ranking, which over the years has had an incalculable effect on my viewing choices, further proves. Truly, you can’t beat the King.

Incidentally, King provided an updated scary movie listing in the 1992 tome GRAVEN IMAGES. In it King narrowed down his choices to 10, beginning with ALIEN and concluding with THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE–and self-indulgently including PET SEMATERY in the #9 slot. I prefer the present list, which is far more inclusive and wide-ranging.

Filmography, by Jack Hunter

INSIDE TERRADOME; 1995

A “short, personal selection” of 42 films that “between them illustrate the whole spectrum of freak film.” Appearing at the end of the freak film guidebook INSIDE TERRADOME, this is an amazing selection of films from the silent era and our own. Included are EVEN DWARFS STARTED SMALL, UN CHIEN ANDALOU, FELLINI SATYRICON, FREAKS, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, SPIDER BABY and EYES WITHOUT A FACE.

Whether you’re into human oddities (as I am) or not, this list provides an excellent slice of horror movie history.

Barry Gifford’s Fifteen Favorite Late-Night Tinglers

THE BOOK OF LISTS: HORROR; 2008

  1. ISLAND OF LOST SOULS
  2. I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE
  3. SUNSET BOULEVARD
  4. STRANGER ON THE THIRD FLOOR
  5. NOSFERATU
  6. THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI
  7. NIGHT OF THE HUNTER
  8. REPULSION
  9. CULT OF THE COBRA
  10. CAPE FEAR
  11. LOST HIGHWAY
  12. INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS
  13. INVADERS FROM MARS
  14. SERIE NOIRE
  15. THE RED HOUSE

This ranking (presented “in no particular order”) by novelist Barry Gifford is about as eclectic a horror movie list as any you’ll find. I’m not sure all of Mr. Gifford’s picks are horror (SUNSET BOULEVARD and SERIE NOIRE in particular), and his inclusion of LOST HIGHWAY is a bit questionable considering he co-scripted it, but it’s a terrific ranking nonetheless, with nary a dud in the bunch.

Disturbo 13: The Most Disturbing Horror Films Ever Made, by Stanley Wiater

CUT!: HORROR WRITERS ON HORROR FILM; 1992

  1. SALO, THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM
  2. MEN BEHIND THE SUN
  3. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
  4. BLOODSUCKING FREAKS
  5. LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
  6. MANIAC
  7. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
  8. HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER
  9. IN A GLASS CAGE
  10. NEKROMANTIK
  11. ILSA, SHE WOLF OF THE SS
  12. COMBAT SHOCK
  13. ERASERHEAD

The most famous of these rankings, this list was initially published in the nonfiction anthology CUT! HORROR WRITERS ON HORROR FILM. It’s since become an internet sensation, and is said to have introduced many people to films like SALO, NEKROMANTIK and COMBAT SHOCK. For that Stanley Wiater deserves credit; many of his selections, keep in mind, were quite obscure back in ‘92. I’m not in complete agreement with all Wiater’s choices (I’d excise MANIAC and ILSA, and move IN A GLASS CAGE up several spots), but this is a first-rate guide to extreme cinema that’s fully deserving of its popularity.

The 50 Best Horror Films of the Post-Modern Era, by Chas. Balun

RED INK; 1999

A robust listing by the late Chas. Balun. Most all the modern classics (THE EXORCIST, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, ROSEMARY’S BABY) are represented, although (as you might expect from the creator of the Gore Score) the overall slant is toward splatter flicks.

Balun’s typically profane and enthusiastic comments, at least, are priceless–about EVIL DEAD 2: “You’ll practically gag on the non-stop barrage of chunkblowing excess but you’ll willingly swallow the bile to feel the burn.”

Orphans of the Media Gatekeepers, by Travis Crawford

Shock Cinema #11; 1997

  1. 1000 ROSES
  2. MOONLIGHT BOY
  3. REBELS OF THE NEON GOD
  4. TROP DE BONHEUR
  5. BOMBAY
  6. STEFANIE’S PRESENT
  7. LA BOUCHE DE JEAN-PIERRE
  8. TWILIGHT (1990)
  9. STONE (1991)
  10. METAL SKIN

Several fascinating 1990s obscurities, most of them horror-tinged, are mentioned in this list. Finding them hasn’t been easy (TROP DE BONHEUR is the only one I have yet to track down), but in most instances the quality of the films (MOONLIGHT BOY and METAL SKIN in particular) has more than justified the effort I’ve put into searching them out.

Untitled, by Craig Ledbetter

MONDO MACABRO; 1997

  1. SEYTAN
  2. GHOST OF THE HUNCHBACK
  3. MYSTICS IN BALI
  4. HIROKU
  5. BLACK PIT OF DR. M
  6. BUNMAN (THE UNTOLD STORY)
  7. MOJU (THE BLIND BEAST)
  8. ONIBABA
  9. MAN BEHIND THE SUN
  10. SEEDING OF A GHOST

This list, highlighting cult cinema from Asia and South America, is one of a handful appearing at the end of Pete Tombs’ MONDO MACABRO, and in my view the most potent of the bunch. Its compiler Craig Ledbetter was the editor of European Trash Cinema, and really knows his way around the cult movie landscape. No wonder his choices are so strong.

Buried Treasures, by Stephen R. Bissette & Dennis Daniel

Deep Red #5; 1988

The 60-plus “Buried Treasures” mentioned here include ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS, THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE, CARNIVAL OF SOULS, DEVIL DOLL, GANJA AND HESS, DEATH GAME and TOURIST TRAP. Most are readily available nowadays, and so can no longer be called “buried”–and nor, in my view, are they all “treasures” (THE TOXIC AVENGER? ROBOT VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY?? DR. FRANKENSTEIN ON CAMPUS???). But take it from one who spent untold years tracking down the flicks mentioned in this list: you could certainly do a lot worse.

BTW, Bissette and Daniel include three separate listings alongside this one: “The Classics,” highlighting horror masterpieces not included among the Buried Treasures, “Honorable Mention,” focusing on quality scare films that fall short of masterpiece status, and “Dishonorable Mention” of “nasty but necessary evils” like BLOOD FEAST and MANIAC.

Modern Midnite Movies, by Skizz Cyzyk & Mike White

Cashiers du Cinemart #14; 2004

My love of Midnight Movies isn’t exactly a secret, so I naturally have a more-than-passing interest in this 50-film listing of cinematic oddities released during the years 1994-2004. I disagree with many of the choices (SIX-STRING COWBOY, CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL, UNDEAD), although the list also mentions some really good–even great–films (THE SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD, SURRENDER DOROTHY, SERIES 7, DAY OF THE BEAST). It also introduced me to some interesting obscurities (THE FLEW, NOTHING) and contains a number of intriguing titles that continue to elude me (DADDY COOL, COW MONKEY, EXISTO). In short, this ranking is a vital one despite its unevenness.

The 25 Underground Films You Must See, by David E. Williams & Dominic Griffin

Film Threat Video Guide #11; 1994

This essential underground movie listing deliberately omits well-known underground items from filmmakers like Maya Deren and Kenneth Anger, focusing instead on obscure but potent nineties fare. Many of the films chosen for this Film Threat Video Guide published listing were–surprise!–distributed by Film Threat Video, although that’s no longer an issue today, seeing as how both FTV and FTVG have long since given up the ghost.

The list, in any event, looks like this:

  1. ANIMAL ATTRACTION
  2. ARISE: THE SUBGENIUS VIDEO
  3. BETAVILLE
  4. A BITTER MESSAGE OF HOPELESS GRIEF
  5. BRING ME THE HEAD OF GERALD RIVERA
  6. CONFESSIONS OF A SOTHERN PUNK
  7. DON FROM LAKEWOOD
  8. DESPERATE TEENAGE LOVEDOLLS & LOVEDOLL SUPERSTAR
  9. FERRUM 5000
  10. FINGERED
  11. HATED: G.G. ALLIN & THE MURDER JUNKIES
  12. I WAS A TEENAGE SERIAL KILLER
  13. RED & ROSY
  14. MISTRESS OF THE RINGS (RINGENES HERSKERINDE)
  15. MY SWEET SATAN
  16. NEKROMANTIK
  17. POLICE STATE
  18. SMALL WHITE HOUSE
  19. TRIBULATION 99
  20. SIMONLAND
  21. TWISTED ISSUES
  22. The Rob Lowe video
  23. APOCALYPSE POOH
  24. SUPERSTAR: THE KAREN CARPENTER STORY
  25. The Go-Go’s video
  26. SHERIF CORKY

Actually, I count 26 films (27 if you count LOVEDOLL SUPERSTAR as a separate entry). Nonetheless, nearly all are must-sees, especially ANIMAL ATTRACTION, RED & ROSY, NEKROMANTIK, TRIBULATION 99 and SUPERSTAR. Good luck tracking them down!