Yes, it’s another report on yet another LA area Fangoria Weekend of Horrors. This year the event, which occurred on April 25-27, was moved from its usual cramped Pasadena/Burbank locations to the far spacier LA Convention Center—the West Hall to be exact, by itself about three times the size of the Burbank Hilton ballroom the WoH has been held in the past four or so years. As always, I was there for all three days and tried to catch as many speaking panels as I could. If self-indulgent reminisces bore you, you can skip what follows, but if not then by all means read on!

Friday

I had trouble finding the exact location. The LA Convention Center has three or four different wings, and I ended up wandering around for some time looking for the right one. I eventually found my way by using the age-old method of Following the Crowd. From there it was on to…

The Line

Standing in line has become an integral part of the WoH experience. The line was longer than I recall from past years, winding around the West Hall lobby by the time I arrived. But at least it was inside for once.

The guys standing with me were filmmakers in preproduction on a horror flick, here to “see what people like.” Other observations: a little kid wearing a black tee with the slogan “Pinch Me Again and See What Happens!,” Fango editor Tony Timpone hovering nearby in his usual oversized tux, and Sid Haig walking by, making sure everyone noticed him.

And then there were the ever-disorganized people at Creation Entertainment, who as always took care of the actual running of the show. The ticket taking process went a bit smoother this year than the last few, but there were still problems, from the announcements made in typically high tech fashion (by a guy with a megaphone) and the decision to have onsite ticket buyers simply hand their money to Creation agents at the head of the line. This means those of us who purchased our tickets in advance actually had to wait longer to get in than those who didn’t. But this was Creation after all.

The Freebie Table

A bit disappointing, I must admit. The freebie area this year was a small table near the admission booths holding the standard posters, postcards, buttons, and so on-–although, it being far smaller than the long-ass tables of years past, the goodies were far sparser.

One poster was for something called THE FALL directed by THE CELL’S Tarsem, and all the other promos were for equally small, obscure films. Nothing wrong with that by any means, but there was scant memorabilia from the major studios, which can usually be counted on to dole out all sorts of neat stuff (such as 28 DAYS LATER flashlights and DAY WATCH tee shirts). This can be seen as concrete evidence that what the trade papers have been saying about horror movies is true—Hollywood really is turning away from the genre…at least until the next big horror hit.

The Men’s Rooms

There were two of these, and they were large, as you might guess. But there was one odd feature, at least in an ultra-modern venue like the LA Convention Center: in place of urinals were long military-style carafes. The last time I pissed in one of those was…well, never.

The Exhibit Hall

Plain disconcerting. I’ve become used to pushing and squeezing my way through jam-packed crowds at these things, yet this place was quite roomy, able to accommodate all the various dealers in a single venue (whereas it usually takes two or three to hold ‘em all)–-and there was even a large portion closed off to the public. But such convenience apparently came with a price: one dealer told me it cost him $100 per chair!

Many of my favorite dealers from past shows were back, including Bad Moon Books, Rotten Cotton Graphics, DVD Planet, and, best of all, Anchor Bay Entertainment, a.k.a. The Land of Free Stuff, who held the first of many weekend DVD giveaways around 4 PM on Friday.

The giveaways were handled by a goofy guy named Jonathan, who did things like have the crowd hum and/or clap loudly (to attract attention) and act out scenes form nonexistent movies–”My brain is gonna explode from all this madness!” was a favored line from one of Jonathan’s imaginary movie skits. I spent a lot of time at the Anchor Bay booth over the course of the three days, and came away with some cool stuff.

This being Friday, there were several companies and individuals whose names were emblazoned on empty tables. The most intriguing of them read “George Romero,” who didn’t show up (until the following day, that is).

The Panels

Held in a far larger venue than those of past years, although the air conditioning was up a bit high; it got so damn cold I actually came to enjoy stepping outside into the 100-plus degree heat. But the panels for the most part were amusing and worth the time. Tony Timpone did the hosting duties and kept things moving along nicely, with nearly all the presentations running smoothly and on time.

Unfortunately I missed the first and last panels of the day–-a tribute to grade-Z filmmaker Ted V. Mikels and a presentation by two chicks from the HALLOWEEN remake–-but was there for most of the others.

First was a presentation by the cast and crew of a flick called EVILUTION. Of the seven or eight people there the only ones who made any kind of impression were the high-spirited actor James Duval (DONNIE DARKO’S Frank), actress Sandra Ramirez, who had little to say but was damn cute, and British rocker Billy Morrison, who had some choice lines like “Everyone hates a musician who wants to be an actor, just as everyone hates an actor who wants to be a musician” and “I have no idea what I’m doing when I walk onto a movie set.” As for the film itself, I had trouble getting a handle on whether it seems worth viewing or not.

Next up was a promo for something called BASEMENT JACK. The presentation wasn’t too invigorating, with the director shamelessly kissing sucking up to his star Lynn Lowry, who in promoting the film offered this morsel: “You should all come see it.”

I missed the TRAILER PARK OF TERROR (yes, that’s the actual title) panel, but was back for the DEAD AIR chat with actor-director Corbin Bernsen, together with his lead actress and screenwriter. Bernsen evidently really likes the sound of his own voice, and we got quite an earful. He claimed not to think of DEAD AIR’S ersatz zombies as “technical” zombies, but as “deranged soccer fans.”

There was a surprisingly sparse turn-out for the Tony Todd (from CANDYMAN and many other genre mainstays) presentation, which at first looked like it was going to be hijacked by DAWN OF THE DEAD’S Ken Foree. Ken was in an irrepressible mood, and stood at the back of the auditorium pointing and laughing as Todd began his spiel (or tried to). Next Foree walked up to the stage, babbled incoherently into the microphone and made a big show of hugging the hapless Tony Timpone and his cohort, who appeared to be trying to move him away. (You think maybe somebody’d had a few too many?)

But Foree finally left and Todd continued in excessively poised, erudite fashion about his acting influences (Duane Jones in the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, Robert DeNiro in RAGING BULL, Al Pacino in DOG DAY AFTERNOON…but “Don’t go see 88 MINUTES!”). He also spoke of his ambitions to write and direct, his disastrous audition for FINAL DESTINATION 4 (”I tried to play a redneck but it didn’t work”) and his thoughts on possibly appearing in a BLADE sequel (”I don’t think Wesley Snipes is going to be available”).

Next: a PSYCHO reunion with 11 people who did various things on the three PSYCHO sequels. Participants included the ancient Hilton Green, the first assistant director on the original PSYCHO and producer of the sequels. He said the original film wasn’t much before the Bernard Herman score was laid in, and that PSYCHO 2 began as a cable movie.

There was also Katt Shea, who acted in the Anthony Perkins directed PSYCHO 3, and the fat guy from POLICE ACADEMY, who claimed Perkins hired him for a small role in PSYCHO 3 because he remembered his laugh from a play ten years earlier. PSYCHO 2 director Tom Holland was also there, but his mic was too low to make out much of what he said (his talk, truth be told, didn’t seem all that stimulating anyway).

An actress from PSYCHO 3 said she flipped off Anthony Perkins during her audition but got the job anyway. There was also Mick Garris, who directed the fourth PSYCHO movie. Mick claimed Perkins wanted to direct the film himself but wasn’t allowed, leading to a tense situation. Garris of course went out of his way to praise Perkins and tell us how much he learned directing him, but he couldn’t disguise the fact that the shoot was evidently a none-too-pleasant one.

And that was it for Friday. Fast forward to…

Saturday

I was back around noon for day two, which needless to say was more crowded than Friday, and several times more hectic. There was still room to move around, mind you, just far less of it.

The Film Room

A major Weekend of Horrors highlight for me has always been the eclectic film program that runs throughout the weekend. The program this time was only held on Saturday and Sunday, and in a tiny upper floor meeting room with stretched projection that was obliterated every time the outer door opened. Since the convention center has an in-house theater I don’t understand why the film room was located where it was. I only stepped inside the place once the entire weekend, and so missed the films shown. Sorry, but I really think the Fangoria/Creation people can do better.

The Exhibit Hall, Part 2

There were more dealers present than on Friday, including George Romero, who deigned to show up near the end of the day to sign autographs at the table with his name on it. Kevin Smith regular Brian O’Halloran also did a signing, seated before a handwritten sign reading “I’m not even supposed to be here.”

Other (so-called) celebrity signers included David Naughton (from AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and the old Dr. Pepper ads-–he didn’t look too peppy), NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD co-writer John Russo (peddling NOTLD dirt and DAWN OF THE DEAD paychecks, just as he did last year), Gunnar “Leatherface” Hansen and veteran “scream queen” Brinke Stevens (who I remember seeing at these things when I was a kid). Speaking of scream queens (informal translation: women who appear in shitty horror movies and then spend the rest of their time trolling conventions), it seems several new gals have joined this sad group.

There was a booth for the “Women of EVIL DEAD” and another for the gals of HALLOWEEN (including 30-year-old Danielle Harris, who’s way too young for this contingent), and others for ladies I didn’t recognize.

There was also a freaky dude standing in front of the Girls and Corpses booth sticking long pins through his chin. And we mustn’t forget the increasingly ubiquitous James Duval, already seen in the EVILUTION panel and the unofficial “star” of the weekend, who was seemingly everywhere Saturday.

The Panels, Part 2

The BLACK WATERS OF ECHO POND panel kicked things off. Echoing the point I made above, James Duval was back, joined by the aforementioned Danielle Harris and the “Babysitter Twins” from GRINDHOUSE. A star of this upcoming film not on hand was Robert Partick, but everyone there had stories about him—among other things, they charged him with holding up shooting on a scene because he felt his character’s behavior was “cowardly.” One panelist called Patrick a method actor, to which Harris responded “Is that what he was?” The highlight of the presentation was seeing the Babysitter Twins (both of whom looked damn good) acting out a botched special effects sequence right there on the stage, with one kneeling and the other standing over her.

Rob Tapert, the producer of the EVIL DEAD movies and a founding partner of Ghost House Pictures, was up next. This guy was very Hollywood, meaning at least sixty percent of everything he said was clearly bullshit. About the proposed EVIL DEAD remake, Tapert claimed he was “in the middle” on it, while Bruce Campbell is opposed and Sam Raimi, ironically, is all for it, seeing as the film was always meant to be a theatrical experience and a new version would help revive that aspect of it. And, as I’m sure you’re extremely anxious to know, a BOOGEYMAN 3 “has been completed.” (So there was a part 2?)

The flick PIG HUNT looks dull, and none of those promoting it here did much to change my mind on that point. There was lots of talk about the “well defined characters” and so on, and the way-hot Asian lead actress revealed that “I don’t think I ever realized how cold mud is.” A trailer for the film rounded the presentation out, featuring much REALLY LOUD pig squealing and a couple dudes repeatedly shooting and gashing a sow.

Jonathan from the Anchor Bay booth gave a bunch of DVDs away before the BRUTAL MASSACRE panel, riling the crowd up by getting them to yell and scream (none louder than me, of course) and generally act like spastic assholes for the chance to win free DVDs. An avalanche of trailers and clips from the Anchor Bay-distributed flick, a comedic mock doc, followed.

The film, I must say, actually looks pretty funny, with David Naughton as a genre moviemaker dealing with fans and journalists at a horror convention very much like the one I was at, leading to an all-too real killing spree (best part: a stabbed man, asked who gored him, answers “The killer!”). The problem was the clips were too extensive, all-but showing the entire movie.

And there were even more clips following the truncated presentation, with cast member Ken Foree, as he did the previous day, acting over-animated and constantly interjecting. Brian O’Halloran was also there, and talked seriously about improvisation and other equally scintillating matters. Naughton for his part blathered about trying to play down the comedy. Hey, at least the film looked good!

Next up were a bunch of writers for the upcoming NBC anthology series FEAR ITSELF, including ain’t-it-cool-news’ Moriarty (a.k.a. Drew McWeeny) and JEEPERS CREEPERS creator Victor Salva. These guys had a hard sell, as the series is actually the new, watered-down incarnation of Showtime’s MASTERS OF HORROR, which went belly up in the wake of the writers’ strike. No surprise: the panel grew boring very quickly, with Moriarty trying (futilely) to justify pandering to network censors, invoking Val Lewton (whose forties-era films, he forgot to mention, were considered shocking and transgressive in their time). His writing partner chimed in, claiming it was “refreshing” to have limits on profanity.

To be fair, the series doesn’t seem entirely unpromising. Salva’s John Landis-directed segment sounds interesting, and Moriarty’s was helmed, intriguingly, by the staunchly independent Larry Fessenden. But the audience wasn’t impressed; at the end of a trailer for the series someone shouted “Cancelled!”

Clive Barker then took the stage for an hour-long interview session with Tony Timpone that drew a large and enthusiastic crowd. Clive began by explaining his vocal problems during his 2007 appearance: he had benign growths in his throat that were constricting his oxygen input. They’ve since been removed and he claims he’s feeling much better–-when he wakes up in the morning he now looks down and says “Hello Mt. Fuji!” He had the same worn-out, beaten-up look he did last year, however, and while he sounded better overall, his voice grew increasingly raspy.

Other things I learned from Clive: the upcoming MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, based on his BOOKS OF BLOOD story, is “a fucking great film” that the MPAA was “appalled by” (a promising sign); there will be more film adaptations of his fiction at a rate of “one every nine months or so;” his long-gestating epic novel THE SCARLET GOSPELS has been put aside until Clive completes the next three ABARAT books (Dammit!!); Clive doesn’t see many movies, because his days are jam-packed as it is, and by the end of each there’s nothing left to do but “laugh at Hilary Clinton”; and a 6-hour puppet production of WEAVEWORLD is currently in the works in Montreal.

The Tall Man himself, Angus Scrimm, turned up afterward for a one-man presentation, beginning with clips from his movies over the years (a veritable smorgasbord of schlock). Scrimm himself looked about 500 years old, and spoke and acted like the grandfather you always wished you had—a sweet old guy who rambled a lot yet still managed to endear himself quite a bit to the black tee-shirt wearing crowd.

Scrimm reveled that he keeps in touch with his PHANTASM cohorts and sees all the movies featuring the film’s star Reggie Bannister. He also rambled about moving from Kansas to LA back in 1943 (zzzzzzzzzzzzz), his musical preferences (unsurprisingly, today’s tunes don’t turn him on) and, most unexpectedly, revealed that he actually likes today’s genre cinema—”Don’t you think it’s a good time for horror movies?” he asked the crowd. They didn’t appear to agree.

Scrimm continued on, introducing the hearse wrangler from the PHANTASM flicks, a woman in the audience who became a mortician because of seeing PHANTASM, and his agent. I was worried he might drop dead, but Timpone thankfully whisked him off. I couldn’t help but wonder, though, how much longer the poor old guy could have gone before he stopped breathing.

A two-person presentation for a ghost movie called 100 FEET came next. Writer-director Eric Red (of THE HITCHER, NEAR DARK, etc.) was there with star Michael Pare. The film marks the second time Pare has played a monster for Eric Red (Pare: “Eric only hires me if I wear prosthetics, it seems”). Pare was asked several questions about his roles in eighties classics like EDDIE AND THE CRUSERS (his “favorite role”) and STREETS OF FIRE (which he confirmed was supposed to be the start of trilogy that never happened).

Red was also asked several questions about his past flicks, including THE HITCHER (apparently inspired by The Doors’ “Riders on the Storm”), BLUE STEEL (”THE HITCHER with a chick”) and THE HITCHER remake (Red claimed he got a writing credit on the new film only because so little was changed from the original). As for 100 FEET, about Famke Janssen harassed by the unquiet spirit of her dead husband (Pare), not all that much was said. Hardly a good sign!

I missed most of the panel for the slasher flick WICKED LAKE. I walked in near the end, with an actor admitting that “when I was in college I would have put this movie on and got drunk and got stoned and had a good time.”

The day’s final presentation was by Sid Haig, who took forever to show up—by the time he did much of the crowd had thinned out. That didn’t stop him, though, from making the colossal announcement that he’s running for president! He admitted he hasn’t a prayer of winning, but he’s royally pissed about several issues (declining to elaborate, alas, on just what those issues were).

Beyond that Haig discussed his upcoming projects, including a non-horror role (”Don’t get pissed off—I don’t kill anybody!”), and some of his past ones. The latter included the Roger Corman production GALAXY OF TERROR, on which Haig elected to play his part largely without dialogue; when Corman asked why Haig, indicating the film’s script, answered, “Have you read this shit?” But the film he claimed “changed everything” for him was Rob Zombie’s HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES, which “brought me to you…and you gave yourselves to me.”

Sunday

The last day.

The Freebie Table, Part 2

The too-small freebie table was by now a total mess, with flyers and postcards scattered haphazardly and piled seemingly three layers deep. That didn’t stop me, of course, from grabbing all I could from it.

The Exhibit Hall, Part 3

Several vendors from the past two days were gone, meaning lots of empty tables. I once again spent a lot of time at the Anchor Bay booth, and again nabbed some free DVDs. (You can rest assured, though, that I purchased more than my share of DVDs, and also a few books, from other vendors.)

I was there during the final hour to watch the dealers pack up unsold merchandise and take down their set-ups. A sad time, but I’ll be back next year (hopefully).

The Panels, Part 3

Joe Dante and frequent cast member Robert Picardo (“in 28 years Joe’s been my most consistent employer”) started things off. Dante lamented that his MASTERS OF HORROR Gulf War satire HOMECOMING is still relevant today, whereas he initially hoped it would be obsolete by now. Another problem was the death of composer Jerry Goldsmith, who scored most of Dante’s films, and whose absence has left a gaping hole in his universe.

Picardo talked extensively of his role in Dante’s INNERSPACE, where he played the film’s star Martin Short in a different guise. Dante claimed Short’s voice was initially dubbed in, but then elected to use Picardo’s own intonations because they were funnier.

Dante also plugged his website trailersfromhell.com, featuring old movie trailers (Dante, remember, started out cutting trailers for Roger Corman) with select moviemakers doing commentary tracks over them (he mentioned Eli Roth, who trashes EXORCIST II, and Michael Lehman, who does a number on EASY RIDER). And no, apparently Dante doesn’t choose to make evil-little-creature films, he’s just been typecast after the success of GREMLINS and its sequel-–according to Dante his SMALL SOLDIERS is actually GREMLINS 3, and LOONY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION is GREMLINS 4.

He also discussed his kiddie TV program EERIE INDIANA. It became popular 5 years after premiering and so a new season was produced in Canada without his input, with footage of the kids from the original series inserted into newly shot episodes. The mind boggles.

After Dark Films president Courtney Solomon did a one-man presentation, spending most of his time promoting a new French film called FRONTIER(S). The MPAA apparently found it overly “abrasive” and told Solomon to cut the entire last 40 minutes. He elected instead to release it unrated.

His other big topics included a film his company is producing that was scripted, cast and edited entirely through viewer input (I couldn’t help but make falling bomb sounds), and After Dark’s third annual Horrorfest. The latter is something Solomon and his cohorts “learn as we go along.” At the end of his chat Solomon called to the stage a skinny girl with an ultra-spiky Mohawk who happens to be this year’s “Miss Horrorfest.” She had little to say.

Not so actor Ray Wise, an excessively suave, well-spoken yet irrepressibly motor-mouthed gent. It’s no wonder he was cast as the Devil in the TV show REAPER. During his 45-minute presentation Wise talked, among other things, of his role in ROBOCOP, directed by that “crazy Dutch filmmaker” Paul Verhoeven, who’s oft-repeated catch phrase was (recited by Wise in a mock-Dutch accent) “Vell, I zuppoze we are fucked!”

Other things Wise talked about: political-wise, he claimed “the Devil’s rooting for a democrat”…being part Transylvanian, Wise’s dream is to make the definitive screen DRACULA…as a cast-member on TRAPPER JOHN, M.D. Wise used “the same set of X-rays for over 400 operations”…shooting MOONLIGHTING, his left Achilles Hell “rolled up like a window shade” while chasing Cybill Shepherd…finally, he reminisced about played a stalker on CHARLIE’S ANGELS, where his victim was a young Jamie Lee Curtis, who’d just done HALLOWEEN and with whom he’s been friends ever since.

Shawn Roberts, from DIARY OF THE DEAD, made little impression. I found him quite bland, with not much to say…or rather little worth listening to. He called George Romero “the sweetest guy” and very much enjoyed the Toronto Film Festival. That’s all I really recall.

John Skipp and Craig Spector, the proto-splatterpunk writing team from the eighties (they’ve since split up), took the stage next. They were previewing the upcoming film ANIMALS, based on their novel of the same name, along with the film’s editor/FX guy.

They showed a trailer, which didn’t look all that cool. For that matter the presentation itself was pretty dull–-a surprise, considering Skipp and Spector were far and away the liveliest horror scribes of their day. Clearly they’ve mellowed in their old age.

Anyway, they babbled on about the flick, the make-up, the special effects, the “emotional content”, etc. By then I’ll confess I was zoning out. Luckily some good clips were shown that roused me from my boredom, including one in which two warring werewolf babes duke it out until one gets tossed out a window and impaled on a spiked fence.

After that Skipp and Specter invited the always-amped Joe Lynch, director of WRONG TURN 2, onstage. Lynch is planning to direct a movie of Skipp and Spector’s environmental horror novel THE BRIDGE, which he described as “AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH meets THE THING.” He also called S&S the “Godfathers of splatter.”

I wanted to ask a particular question of Skipp and Spector, but was beaten to the punch by a guy up front: why the Hell did they end their partnership in the early nineties? Skipp’s answer: “We went our separate ways, man!”

A FEAST 2-3 preview followed with the Gulager family—veteran actor Clu and his son John (writer-director of the original FEAST)—and the film’s stars. The best part of the presentation occurred when the elderly Clu claimed that FEAST 2 is “the dirtiest, nastiest, most scatological film I have ever seen—and I love it!” A clip was shown of Clu killing a young woman by beating her head repeatedly against a toilet seat.

The biggest event of the weekend followed: a NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD reunion! The film’s principals, all of them quite old, took the stage, including George Romero, co-writer/legend-in-his-own-mind John Russo, “Graveyard Zombie” Bill Hinzman, producer Russ Steiner and a couple actresses from the flick. The moderator was Max Brooks, author of WORLD WAR Z and son of Mel, who began with a really bad joke: “This (movie) is our world—or rather it’s his (Romero’s), we’re just living in it!” After that he thankfully kept the shtick to a minimum.

The panel started with each of the participants recalling how they became involved with NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, an ultra-low budget production shot on location in Pittsburgh. Of course I was familiar with most of their stories already, but it was fun hearing from all these folks in the flesh (I just wish Steiner’s cell phone hadn’t kept ringing and interrupting everybody).

Russo, who dubbed the film “STAGECOACH with zombies instead of Indians,” was naturally the most vocal of the group, though he at least paid the proper respect to Romero. There was much talk about the explanation for the living dead of the film (a crashed Venus probe) which Romero claims was not at all important. Nor is he partial to the fast-moving zombies popular in recent horror films—Brooks helped him out here, reciting a previous Romero quote: “My zombies will get a library card before a gym membership.”

Other revelations? Russo claimed that in the first draft of the script the female protagonist survived, something I already knew but which the actress who played the role evidently didn’t. Russo also said the outtakes from the film were lost in a flood, and that he “doesn’t really intend to retire” (Damn!).

The panel concluded with clips from an upcoming DVD documentary showing people being interviewed about NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and its impact. The audience was particularly jazzed to see Alice Cooper among the interviewees, who praised Romero effusively: “You make ‘em, I’ll watch ‘em!”

Last but definitely least was a panel for the TV show MIDNIGHT. The gorgeous Shannyn Sossamon was scheduled to take part but flaked out. Thus we were left with a dull English accented dude, a blond woman and another guy who hardly said anything. I could care less about the show or its creators, and so didn’t pay much attention to the panel, which yielded morsels like “I enjoyed playing a vamp, it was fun” and “I don’t remember the question.”

And on that note, my 2008 Fangoria Weekend of Horrors experience came to an end.

The Parking Garage

I’m including this portion only because of what occurred there when I left Sunday night: three totally wasted dudes laughing maniacally and running around near my car. One of them was wearing no pants, waving his peanut-sized dick around and sticking his ass in the others’ faces.

Perhaps it’s significant that this was the final thing I saw upon leaving the convention center for the last time…or not. I’ll leave you to ponder just how that dweeb’s naked ass might have summed up my Fangoria experience, as it’s a sight I’d much rather forget.